This was a hell of a morning…an exercise in Murphy’s Law.

Here’s a quick rundown of what happened:

12:30
I go to bed.

1:30
I wake up and fall asleep again shortly thereafter.

2:00
I wake up and fall asleep again shortly thereafter.

2:14
One of the smoke detectors decides to chirp. I fall asleep again shortly thereafter.

2:16
Another chirp. Surely I can tune out the chirps and fall asleep.

2:18
I get up to figure out which detector is chirping. Of course it’s the one outside my bedroom. I have no 9volt batteries. Beautiful.

2:51
I give up trying to sleep. Hey, maybe I can exercise to make myself tired.

2:57
I am peddling along, reading my Entertainment Weekly, and listening to Beyonce singing “dip it, pop it, twurk it, snap it, check on me tonight.” The resistance band snaps on my stationary bike. Lovely.

2:59
I whip out the power tools. I take the doggone thing apart and realize there’s no fixing it. I have to buy a new bike this weekend. Fabulous. Back to bed.

4:30
I am still wide awake. Might as well give up trying to sleep. I get up and do my taxes.

5:30
Finished with the taxes. I am now good and tired.

6:00
I gotta get up cuz it’s time to go to the gym to meet with Moe for the last bootcamp session. I eat a bowl of Special K to help with my energy level.

6:30
I arrive ay BodyBusiness. I hop on one of the stationary bikes, and completely zone out.

7:00
The final bootcamp begins. We’re starting off with weights first. I’m starting to feel a little better…

7:30
…okay maybe not. I’m getting to be slightly delirious. I stop in the middle of my push ups because my hands suddenly don’t look normal to me. They look like someone else’s
hands, truly. Moe keeps asking if I'm okay. I say I'm fine, but in reality I feel like I'm slowly going crazy. Okay, I shake it off and resume my workout. My life is a bad sitcom.

8:00
I hand Monica a bag o' Jammin' prizes to reward her for being the only contestant to keep up with me and show up to all the bootcamp sessions. Free stuff is always fun.

8:20
I have made it home, although the entire trip is a blur. I am suddenly extremely sleepy again and can barely type out an email to let the folks in the office know I’m not coming in ‘til after 11 am (with a warning not to call me cuz I’ll be sleeping).

11:45
I roll out of bed having slept through the alarm (or maybe I pushed the off button in my sleep).

11:46
I step on the scale to find that I've reached the 70 pund weightloss mark. Yay me. Maybe the day will continue to improve.

12:30
I arrive at work and promptly order some Thai food. Mmmm. Now I'm in my happy place.